I've no soft edges until I'm softly picked

I’m a glass jar, a glass jar which was previously filled with the blood of corrupt institutionalists, unhealed parents and of all the indoctrinated parts of myself which were against me. To my luck, a young bird pushed me off the edge of the table and now I'm not a glass jar, I'm in pieces, I've no soft edges until I'm softly picked. I’m sharp, cruel and I don't want to admit this but I'm selfish but oh god, please don’t ask me to pick these pieces already, please don’t love me, i don’t have anything to store your love in and you might just step on one of my pieces, you’ll end up bleeding. I've spent too many years as a jar hidden behind several other things, I've spent too many years without this air that everyone is apparently breathing in. I've dug myself from inside, I've lived off of that for way too long now. This is my beautiful history. 

For now, I'm becoming the larger remains of my destruction and this time, when I'm glued together, I'll make sure the adhesive isn’t people, it won’t be love from insincere lovers, it won’t be validation that comes from compliance, it won’t be books that tell me that i need someone to complete me, it won’t be romantic books, it won’t be these terrible hierarchies I liked jumping on to, it won’t be apprehension, it won’t be things benefiting off of my apprehension, it won’t be love that broke me into these pieces I am in today, it won’t be love that holds on to my neck.

I’ll make sure the adhesive is wrapped in gold, I'll make sure the adhesive is lovers who immortalize me in their art, I'll make sure it is validation that comes from self reliance and faith, I'll make sure that its books that talk about feminism, revolutions, kind people and friends who love each other like how moonflowers love the moon, I'll make sure it’s tea that unfurls my arms and makes me hug myself, even on days I don’t want anything to do with myself, I'll make sure it’s boys with ordinary eyes but a kind heart, I'll make sure it’s love that lets me reflect, it’s love that isn’t witty or calculative, I'll make sure it’s love, largely coming from within, but for now, make sure you don’t step on one of my pieces, you’ll end up bleeding